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Flash Fiction – A Word in Your Shell-like

Posted on April 21, 2013 by Wayne

This week’s piece for Phoenix Writers was 200 words to include a foreign word or phrase. Here is my Evolution-inspired slice of silliness:

———————————————

A Word in Your Shell-like . . .

Sitting on the stubble-like grass of the island, Darwin tried to get comfortable. He held up the completed sketch, comparing it to his subject.

“Hmm, Chelonoidis nigra . . .” he said to the large shelled creature before him.

He was startled to hear The Giant Tortoise sigh, as it lurched forward and used its tiny white teeth to snatch the pen from his hand, before petulantly spitting it out on to the ground.

It watched the pen skitter away across a rock, turned back to Darwin and said, “Why don’t you just say ‘Tortoise’ like everyone else?”

Darwin blinked.

The tortoise nibbled a shrub. “Oh, now you’re quiet?” he said, chewing. “3 weeks I’ve had to listen to you yapping on about this theory of yours. Try to get a conversation? Nothing.”

“But . . .you can’t talk.”

“Maybe I . . .evolved.”

“That’s not possible,”

The tortoise shrugged. “So, when are you going to stop worrying about upsetting the Christians and finish the book?”

Darwin became sombre.”I fear they will lose their faith.”

“They’ll be fine. Survival of the fittest, mate.” The tortoise winked, swallowing the last of the leaf. “Cheerio,” he said, turning away towards the beach.

200 words

———————————————

You can find all my flash fiction posts so far by clicking here or using the category button on the right.

I aim to post at least one new flash fiction piece every week – usually on a Sunday – so follow the blog by email, twitter or through WordPress to stay up to date. I would love to hear your thoughts and comments so please drop me a line – I try to reply to everyone.

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Category: Flash Fiction, writing

15 thoughts on “Flash Fiction – A Word in Your Shell-like”

  1. DJ Kirkby says:
    April 21, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    Clever and fun – I enjoyed reading this.

    Reply
    1. mrkelly2u says:
      April 21, 2013 at 3:13 pm

      Thanks Dee. Hope you’re having a good weekend.

      Reply
  2. Sally Knight says:
    April 21, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    Didn’t manage to make it on Saturday so it’s good to read your piece here. Excellent as usual.

    Reply
    1. mrkelly2u says:
      April 21, 2013 at 9:36 pm

      Hi Sally, thanks a lot. You were missed! Hope you are back next week?

      Reply
  3. Maria Smith (@mariaAsmith) says:
    April 21, 2013 at 8:01 pm

    Funny and quirky, I also got to hear it read, and it is just as good if not better read aloud!

    http://www.firstdraftcafe.blogspot.co.uk

    Reply
    1. mrkelly2u says:
      April 21, 2013 at 9:39 pm

      Thanks, Maria. I think my Tortoise impression probably made up for my lack of editing! I managed to give it a once over and hit the word count before posting it on here – 7 words over yesterday! I’m going to find next week’s challenge more tricky – I’m really not comfortable with poetry. It’s easier to fudge it when writing songs!

      Reply
  4. Another Clean Slate says:
    April 21, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    The Flash Fiction thing seems fun. I want to try it out some time! Very funny piece.

    Reply
    1. mrkelly2u says:
      April 22, 2013 at 12:48 pm

      Thanks! Yes you really should try Flash Fiction. I’m a very recent convert and I love it. Feel free to use any of the same prompts I’ve used, or take a look at my B is For Bananas post – http://mrkelly2u.wordpress.com/2013/04/02/b-is-for-bananas-go-bananas-to-beat-writers-block/

      There are more ideas for coming up with prompts there.

      Good luck and please let me know how you get on.

      Reply
  5. Peanut Butter and Whine says:
    April 22, 2013 at 4:08 am

    Ahhh those sneaky tortoises! Excellent post. I enjoyed reading your story.
    Connie
    A to Z-ing to the end
    Peanut Butter and Whine

    Reply
    1. mrkelly2u says:
      April 22, 2013 at 12:49 pm

      Thanks for the kind words. Yes, you have to watch those tortoises. The whole ‘we move really slowly’ thing is just a trick!

      Reply
  6. Paul Forrester says:
    April 22, 2013 at 10:44 am

    Silly as it might sound, I find it harder to comment on fiction than non-fiction. On this occasion, however, there are no such worries. A few pleasingly clever references and a great undercurrent of humour – really enjoyed it!

    A smart-talking animal: can I have that tortoise as a pet?(!)

    Reply
    1. mrkelly2u says:
      April 22, 2013 at 5:10 pm

      Doesn’t sound silly – I have the same issue with poetry (both commenting on it and writing my own) – but your comments are always welcome here, sir. No such thing as a silly comment on my stuff – most of the time, the pieces are silly to start off with!

      Reply
  7. Joe Owens says:
    April 22, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    I have always wondered what Darwin’s response would be to an animal that exceeded his evolutionary arc. Thanks for bringing it to life!

    Reply
    1. Joe Owens says:
      April 22, 2013 at 2:52 pm

      btw, I am part of the A to Z crowd!

      Reply
    2. mrkelly2u says:
      April 22, 2013 at 4:53 pm

      Cheers Joe – it’s amazing what the mind can come up with when faced with a deadline and the threat of having to read your work to a group of fellow writers!

      Reply

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