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Flash Fiction – She Is There And I Am Not

Posted on May 19, 2013 by Wayne
This week's writing prompt.
This week’s writing prompt.

This week’s challenge was to write 150 words using the picture as our prompt. Here’s the 148 word piece I came up with.

——————————

She is There and I Am Not.

One final glance before I leave this place. I know that I should feel pity for the woman responsible for my freedom and yet all I feel is relief.

She stopped to look upon me almost every day for five long years. Five years of incarceration beneath oil and paint, dust and grime. Frozen in time, unable to move, but witness to every kind of human being. Bored runny-nosed brats, rich imbeciles and poor philistines. An unending trail of hollow-eyed magpies looking for a shiny prize to adorn their nest.

From the moment I saw her, timid little dog in tow, I knew she would be my saviour. Each day, the longing looks, the tears and whispered words, until today, she took off a glove and dared to touch the canvas.

Now she is there and I am not. The painted lady set me free.

——————————

I try to post these on a weekly basis and I love to hear your feedback so please comment below, follow the blog or join the conversation on Twitter.

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Category: Flash Fiction

13 thoughts on “Flash Fiction – She Is There And I Am Not”

  1. dmauldin53 says:
    May 19, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    I loved it! A very touching story in so few words. 🙂

    Reply
    1. mrkelly2u says:
      May 19, 2013 at 12:48 pm

      Thanks for the kind words – much appreciated. It’s just a shame I messed up the reading of it when reading aloud at my critique group yesterday!

      Reply
      1. dmauldin53 says:
        May 19, 2013 at 12:50 pm

        I can write much better than I can speak. 🙂

        Reply
  2. dee says:
    May 19, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    This made my hair stand on end. Brilliant!

    Reply
    1. mrkelly2u says:
      May 19, 2013 at 5:11 pm

      Thanks so much Dee. Glad you liked it. Hope you are well.

      Reply
  3. John Wiswell says:
    May 21, 2013 at 2:10 am

    From the prompt and opening paragraph, I thought he’d swapped places with her, freed from the painting by trapping her in there. What a sick idea – and a great way to capture an expression of lament in oils.

    Reply
    1. mrkelly2u says:
      May 21, 2013 at 6:34 am

      Thank you, John. Whether its Dorian Gray or Ghostbusters 2, you’ve got to love a spooky painting.

      Reply
  4. rinellegrey says:
    May 21, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    I love it, though it does leave questions unanswered. How did he get in there in the first place, and what was it that inspired her to touch the painting? That’s why I can’t write shorts, I can’t help but be tantalized by the questions.

    This also reminds me of an episode of Dora the Explorer that I’ve seen far too many times. The dangers of having kids…

    Reply
    1. mrkelly2u says:
      May 21, 2013 at 1:51 pm

      Thanks Rinelle – and your Dora Explorer comment made me laugh. Yes – it’s the unanswered questions that I love about shorts and why I think they can be a great way to find ideas for longer pieces. When I write short stories (anything between 1000-3000 words, usually) I almost always include WAY too much back story on the first draft. It’s amazing what you can infer and tantalise with on shorter pieces.

      Reply
  5. Maria Smith (@mariaAsmith) says:
    May 22, 2013 at 10:50 pm

    Good one Wayne… 😉 Liked it when I heard it read out on Saturday. Reads well on page too! Love flash fiction…

    Reply
    1. mrkelly2u says:
      May 23, 2013 at 6:18 am

      Thanks Maria – I did cock it up a bit when reading aloud, but glad you at least got the sense of it! Yes, Flash is great fun to read and write.

      Reply
      1. Maria Smith (@mariaAsmith) says:
        May 26, 2013 at 5:56 pm

        You are brave sharing your work with the world here. It’s good for you though… 🙂

        Reply
        1. mrkelly2u says:
          May 28, 2013 at 11:28 am

          Thanks Maria. Yes, I think it will be good to look back on too – hopefully to see some improvement!

          Reply

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